Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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