Moan for me like Helen Keller
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
