idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
