Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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