And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
