he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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