I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
