before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize