she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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