Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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