I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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