shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
