he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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