They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
im on a boat
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