every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
