I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
