so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize