Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Randomize
