Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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