I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
