whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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