i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
