How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
