Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
