Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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