Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
