i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
