Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
