? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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