when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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