She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this just has baby written all over it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
