Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
