I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
