I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
