Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
