Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize