He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
