I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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