I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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