Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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