Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
