Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
