Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
