Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
