We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
