I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
