i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
