i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize