you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
