I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
not ubering you a puppy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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