And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
