Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
