This girl is more easily done than said...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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