We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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