So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
