You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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