If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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