if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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