I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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