i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Floor bacon is actually really good
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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