It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
